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Terrified of birth and not excited for baby

I am terrified of giving birth and everyone says to keep in mind that your outcome will be a beautiful baby, but im not excited to have a baby. It was not planned and i am not a kid person and cant seem to get attached or excited about having one. It does not act like much of a motivator through labor pain..

Jane ...
Answer: Hi, Your experience and feelings are not unusual, you're just being very honest about how you feel. For many women, it's not until the baby is born or even a few weeks afterwards that they start to feel any sense of attachment or emotional connection with the baby. Have you spoken with your partner and family about this? It would also help for you to share this information with your maternity care provider and if necessary, perhaps a referral to a psychologist or social worker with a special interest in new mothers and parenting. Labour pain and delivery is, for many women a process to go through. It does not need to be the pinnacle of your life's achievements and may well not be the best thing that you go through. However, it is an important event and it's important that you have a say in how it goes. Look after yourself in a physical sense and ensure you are eating well and exercising as you need to. This will help your body to labour well and be strong. You don't "have" to feel anything at this particular stage, and ambivalence towards your baby is understandable given that he/she wasn't planned. But be mindful that babies are very skilful in helping their parents and importantly, their mother fall in love with them. They're designed by nature to do this so the chances of their survival are optimised. Speak with your midwife and/or doctor caring for you and follow their guidance on what is right for you. Best Jane
Answered: 11 Jul 2015